


Thrill of the Chase

by oldblueeyes



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Drinking, F/M, Infidelity, Jealousy, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Multi, One Shot, POV First Person, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 07:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16321832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldblueeyes/pseuds/oldblueeyes
Summary: Unnamed female farmer and Alex have been married for a few years now, but for some unknown reason, Alex has been distant with her. Convinced something is wrong with her, she suffers in silence, refusing to talk about their marital issues with anyone, much less him.When she goes out to the Saloon one night, she runs into Sebastian, the reclusive boy with whom she's started to become good friends with. She confides in him that she feels unappreciated and alone in her marriage, spurring Sebastian on to cheer her up. She starts to realize just how out of touch with her marriage that she's really become.Yet, where there's smoke, there's a fire... how far is *too* far?





	Thrill of the Chase

You may not believe me, but I’m not a bad person. 

I would say that I don’t know how it started, but that would be a lie... partially. I don’t know exactly what jumpstarted this whole thing, but there definitely are factors that I’m well aware of. He didn’t look at me the way he used to at the beginning of our marriage. We weren’t attached at the hip like we had been during the honeymoon, or even the first year of being husband and wife. I get it, he’s allowed to have his own hobbies and a life outside of me, but there’s got to be a line in the sand at some point. 

Alex’s always been the type to wake up before me to eat breakfast, which is really saying something since I’m the one that tends to our land. I’m usually awake at six in the morning, and by the time I’m showered and dressed for the day’s work, he’s already standing in the kitchen by the stove. I’ve always admired how he’s taken on domestic duties while I work in the fields, and sometimes, he would do some of the chores for me. Truly, he was such a model husband for a while… I’m not sure what changed for him. Did he get too comfortable? Was I such a constant that he began to take me for granted? Regardless, I felt the shift in the air every time we were alone in our home. He made me breakfast less and less, and it got to the point where he didn’t even offer me a morning coffee. Our mornings began to consist of him grunting a greeting at me before I headed out the door to our property. 

Once everything was handled, I’d come back inside exhausted, desperate for a hot shower, and seeking Alex for emotional maintenance. He used to be so good at knowing what I needed – he’d throw my towel into the dryer while I showered so that it would be nice and warm once I was done, or he’d prepare my favorite tea on the bedside table once I came to relax in bed with him. We would talk until we both fell asleep, and then the whole cycle would repeat itself. None of those things happened anymore. Sometimes, he’s not even here when I wake up, and I won’t see him until I finally come to bed, where his sleeping form always takes up space on the right side of the bed.

I started looking myself over harshly in the bathroom mirror each day. My eyes would transfix on the parts of myself that I hated – limp black hair that refused to do what it’s told, dull blue eyes that didn’t pop or stand out no matter how much makeup I used, skin riddled with blemishes and stretch marks, and bulky muscles that came with hard physical labor, giving my figure a masculine shape to it. The longer I stared, the more I wondered if I was unattractive to him now. That had to be the reason why he’s stopped putting in so much effort, right? Our marriage had been so happy and harmonious before, so what else could it possibly be? Which part had he come to hate as much as I did that he’s distanced himself from me? Questions continued to swirl in my mind every passing day, but I never voiced them with anyone, especially not my husband. I just got ready in the mornings and locked my doubts away exactly as he’d done with his love for me. 

Everything happening with my marriage started to take a physical toll on me. I didn’t smile much anymore. Dark circles took up residence underneath my eyes from nights staying up and wondering what’s wrong with me. I’ll never forget the look on Robin’s face when she approached me in the saloon that one night. 

“Hey,” She pulls me out of my swirling thoughts about Alex with her gentle voice, and when I look up at her, the concern in her tone matches her eyes. “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I straighten up, smiling my best unsuspecting smile at her and pulling my mug of beer closer to my body. “Just a long day of farm work, you know?” I stretch, a little too eager to not sit still under Robin’s motherly gaze.

Her mouth twists a little with uncertainty. “You sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” My body feels like it’s been rubbed down with menthol.

“You don’t even like beer.” She gestures to my mug. 

“Trying new things lately,” I reply a bit too fast and bring the already half-empty beer to my mouth for another gulp. Robin isn’t wrong -- the strong, bitter taste is far from what I would actually prefer to drink, but on a night like this with a lot on my mind, I need something harsher on my tongue to clear my head. I don’t bother telling her that this is my fifth tonight.

“Well… alright,” She shrugs and gives me a loose smile. “Don’t push yourself too hard out there. Try and get enough sleep.”

I laugh half-heartedly while internally wincing at her comment. She’s noticed my lack of sleep. “I hear ya. Keep an ear out for me in winter, I’m saving up money to get the house upgraded by next spring.” 

Robin grins at me before leaving me alone at the bar. I watch her walk back to where her husband is standing, blinking a few times as beer goggles starts to take hold on my vision. Demetrius’s hand instantly goes to the small of her back as they lean in for a kiss, and Alex’s face flashes into my mind. He hasn’t held me like that in a while… 

I knock back the rest of my beer, a guttural sound erupting from my throat at how much I’ve just choked down. My heart feels as bitter as the beer tastes. 

“Yo, Gus,” I call to the portly man polishing a glass, waving my hand to summon him closer. “Another one.”

Small eyes stare at me for a moment before he sighs. “I don’t think you need any more drinks tonight.” 

“Wha?” My speech sounds less intelligent than I want. “Why not?”

“You’ve slammed five beers faster than anybody else here tonight, including Pam.” Gus gives me a stern, fatherly look. “And you didn’t order anything to eat. Have you had dinner at all tonight?”

I genuinely don’t remember. What all have I eaten today? I remember waking up and making myself a light breakfast, and then having a field snack or two around lunchtime since I didn’t have time to go inside to eat (cranberries won’t harvest themselves, you know)… 

“Exactly,” Gus puts the glass he was polishing down, filling it up with water and sliding it towards me. It sloshes over the sides a little bit, excess water pooling around the base of the glass. “I’m cutting you off for the night. Let’s not make that hangover any worse for you in the morning, alright?”

I say nothing and reluctantly take the water for a sip. The neutral taste cleanses the beer off of my tongue, and that’s about the only positive I can take from it. I give Gus an unhappy stare and slide off of the bar stool. My body tingles with telltale signs of intoxication, and as I try to walk, my pace falters a little. It’s as if my legs are too loose in their joints. Despite knowing everybody in town really well, there’s still that uncertainty of walking home alone in the dark while drunk, so I cast aside the idea for now. Guess I’ve got time to kill while I sober up.

A pale shape in the corner of my eye draws my attention to the leftmost side of the bar. Once I focus on it, I realize it’s a mug of barely touched alcohol. Judging from where it’s sitting on the bar, it’s probably Pam’s. I saunter over to it and inspect the glass. A single, dark red lip print decorates the rim of the mug. Pam’s, for sure. She’s not around, so I snatch it without a second thought, the less eloquent voice in my head reminding myself that if I’ve been cut off, then I should take whatever alcohol I can get. Yet, as I bring the glass up to my face, I catch a whiff of what’s actually in it – pale ale. I stifle a cough and pull the mug away. I can handle a normal beer, but pale ale is downright disgusting to me. I don’t care how big or little of a difference there is between the two drinks… it’s enough for me to decide against my boozy urges. 

Instead of putting the mug back on the bar, I keep it close to me, positioning it in such a way that Gus won’t see me with it. I look around, squinting through my intoxication at all the familiar faces in the building. Lewis and Marnie are laughing by the door, completely absorbed into their conversation. It’s as if they’re the only two people here. My gaze catches on Robin and Demetrius again, his hand still at the small of her back. Clint, who normally keeps away from most gatherings, is actually sitting at the bar while Emily washes glasses nearby. Even Clint is making more effort towards romance than Alex has been towards me recently. 

Finally, I see a face that isn’t encumbered by love: Shane. He’s leaning up against the wall by the jukebox, taking the occasional drinks of his beer while staring out at nothing. Come to think of it, I’ve never really interacted with Shane much before. His demeanor hasn’t really put him on my radar as people that would want to be bothered with friendly interactions, but tonight, I don’t even care. I walk right up to him with the best smile I can muster.

“Hey, Shane!” I greet, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically.

He blinks as if I’ve just pulled him out of a staggering train of thought, then frowns. “Why are you talking to me? I don’t really know you.” 

I roll his tone off of my shoulders like water on a duck’s back. “You look like you could use a pick-me-up.” 

“Don’t you have work to do instead?” He asks around the mug he’s bringing to his lips.

“Nope,” I wink at him. “I’m all done for the day. By the way,” I pull the pale ale into plain sight and practically push the mug into his hands. “This is for you!”

Shane looks at me, then down at the pale ale, and back up to me again. For the first time since I’ve known him, Shane smiles at me. “You… you got this for me?” He asks, almost in disbelief.

“I sure did!” I’m practically purring in the little victory of getting Shane to react positively to me. “Thought you could use a bit more booze in your system, and I don’t like pale ale, so I want you to have it instead.”

He laughs a little, the smile still on his face. “Thank you. I’ll put it to good use.” He holds up his almost empty mug, and I bring my mug up to meet it. We clink the glasses together in a toast, and we knock back our drinks. 

As soon as I do, I pull away from my mug, staring at it in disappointment. I forgot this was water. Dammit. 

“You alright?” Shane sets his now-empty mug on the bar and immediately sipping from the new drink. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” I gesture with a nod of my head to Gus. “I got cut off tonight, so Gus gave me water.” 

“Lame,” Shane waves his hand in dismissal. 

After I wave a goodbye to Shane, I hear the distinct, far-off clacking of pool balls. My head turns towards the sound, and my feet move on their own towards the pool room. As I duck inside, the lighting changes from the warm honey of a rustic bar to a cool toned blacklight. I see Sebastian playing the table alone. I’m surprised – Sam usually plays with Sebastian on Friday nights while Abigail watches from the couch by the back wall, but the mischievous blond and eccentric girl are nowhere to be seen. 

I lean against the doorframe, sipping my water and silently watching Sebastian play. His back is turned to me, so he probably doesn’t even know that I’m here yet. His body language exudes focus as he leans over the green felted table, carefully positioning the pool stick in his hands. The tip sits gently atop his left hand, though the force he gives it with his right hand is deceptively strong. After giving the cue ball a few test taps, Sebastian goes for the shot: the pool stick strikes white hard resin like a cat on its prey, and the cue ball shoots out across the table. Clacking pool balls echo repeatedly through the room, and the telltale thuds of table pockets filling up finish off the symphony. He straightens up, a slight nod at the table indicating he’s satisfied, then walks around the other side of the pool table to assess his next shot. It’s only once he’s reached the opposite end that he notices I’m standing there.

“Oh, hey.” He asks, a slight smile lingering on the corners of his mouth. My chest warms up a little at the sight. I’ve gotten to know Sebastian pretty well over the past month or so, despite having written him off initially the same way as I had done with Shane. Grumpy people just need a little more work to dig under their walls, and once you do, then they turn out to be cool people. Usually, anyway. 

“The one and only,” I saunter up to him with an extra sway in my hips. “Playing pool all by yourself, tonight?” I finish my sentence with a sip of water and running my fingers through my bangs. My chest pumps a single second of adrenaline through my body as I notice him watching my hips and hands throughout the exchange. 

He looks down at the table with a shrug. “Sam’s not feeling well because of all the pollen in the air.” Dark eyes look back up to meet my own blue ones. “Spring allergies are a real bitch, you know?”

I giggle. “For sure.” 

“Um,” Sebastian’s staring at my mug with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t you normally hate beer?”

“Oh, this?” I hold my mug out to him so he can see inside. My compromised fine motor skills result in some of it splashing onto the floor. “It’s just water. I was having beer, but Gus cut me off for the night and I’m still bitter about it.” 

Sebastian inspects it, then gestures behind him with his thumb. “Y’know, I bought a beer tonight thinking that Sam would show up to drink it. Since he told me he’s sick, there’s nobody around to drink it… I hate the stuff, too.” He tilts his head at me. “Do you want it?”

My feet move instead of my mouth. I rush over to the small side table against the wall, where a lone mug sits. I pick it up and check the inside: beer. I knock back a few gulps, setting my water down so I can focus on just holding the beer steady. Another guttural sound emerges from my throat as my mind rejects the taste, but my body welcomes the alcohol content. 

“Wow,” Sebastian comes up beside me, light laughter in his tone. “Never knew you were such a beer goblin.” 

“Am not,” I retort back, poking his side. To my surprise, my finger hits against a solid surface. Does Sebastian actually have a better body than I thought? I must’ve had a strange look on my face, because Sebastian steps a bit closer to me. 

“Surprised?” He asks, and for the first time, I’m actually close enough to smell him. I look back up at his face. 

“Only because you smell like mead and weed,” I take a step back with another giggle. “Never pinned you as the type to get crossfaded.”

He scoffs. “Then you clearly don’t know me well enough.” His eyes fall on my lips, and something about his gaze makes my body tingle. My free hand immediately goes to my hair, playing with the strands. 

“I’d like to think I know you better than I used to.” I smile up at him, sipping on the beer.

“Maybe you do,” Sebastian steps a little closer to me. “Maybe you don’t.” The earthy scent of his smoke of choice mingles with his cologne, and while I’m not usually one for the smell of weed, something about it has become somewhat endearing to me since I’ve gotten to know him. Not just his scent, but other parts about him have gotten my attention more and more. The way he walks, his laugh and sense of humor, the way he looks at me, all the attention I get from him… I can’t deny that it’s very flattering. 

“On a scale of one to ten, with a one being completely intoxicated on… anything, how sober are you right now?” I ask, gently biting my lip. 

He mulls it over a few seconds, putting a hand on his hip and pursing his lips in thought. “A solid 3 and a half.” 

“What luck,” I finish off the beer in my hands and haphazardly toss the mug onto the table next to us. “I’m about the same.” God, have his eyes always been so deep and dark before? I feel myself drawn to them and writhing beneath their gaze simultaneously.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink enough to be at that level before,” Sebastian stretches, arching his back in such a way that his hoodie lifts just enough so I can see the lower quarter of his torso. Color me surprised, he’s much more in shape than I expected him to be. The sight of his happy trail is a nice little bonus too, my eyes lingering on it longer than they should’ve before I look him in the eyes again. 

“Needed to destress tonight from everything, y’know?” I wonder if he can tell I’m still picturing his bare skin in my mind. 

If he can, then he doesn’t clue me in on it. Instead, he tilts his head a bit, his expression curious. “Destress? What’s going on?”

I gently bite my lip in apprehension. I haven’t told anybody about what’s going on with me and Alex lately. Should I really tell Sebastian about this? He’s pretty removed from it all, so he’d be a neutral third party… 

“Listen…” Sebastian gestures to the couch. “If you want to sit down and talk about it, then I’m all ears. I don’t like seeing you upset.”

That makes one of you, doesn’t it?

Finally, the weight on my chest becomes too much for me to shrug off anymore. I feel my shoulders fall in defeat, and I nod. Sebastian puts his hand on my back as we walk to the couch. His touch is enough to send sparks through to my spine. The adrenaline is enough for me to quietly catch my breath in my throat. When we reach the couch, he takes his hand away, and I feel a small void in the pit of my stomach. Am I that starved for physical touch? 

We sit down on the couch, and Sebastian gestures for me to start talking. His expression is concerned, and his eyes are so gentle as he looks at me… it makes me fidgety, but in a good way. I cross my ankles and let my back sink into the cushion behind me. 

“I think there’s a problem between Alex and I.” The words practically fall out of my mouth, and the image of the back of his head flashes in my mind. He hadn’t even bothered to look at me this morning, and since it was raining earlier, he was parked in front of the TV instead of outside for a morning jog. My heart sinks just remembering it, not to mention all the other mornings that echoed the same pattern, or the days where I didn’t see him at all until it was time for bed.

“A problem?” Sebastian’s voice interrupts my thoughts, which I’m thankful for.

“We…” I continue to play with the ends of my hair like before. “I think… I think we’ve drifted apart. He and I don’t interact like we used to. He barely greets me in the mornings or talks to me throughout the day, and…” I pause, knowing that if I go into the little details then it’ll all come rushing forth like the loveless flood that it is. “He just doesn’t seem to treat me the same as he used to. It’s like I’m being taken for granted, and I don’t know if it can be fixed.” My gaze won’t tear away from my lap as I speak, but once I’m done, I look up at Sebastian. 

He hasn’t looked away from me this whole time, and his eyes are still gentle. “I’m… I’m so sorry about that.” He sounds so sincere that it almost makes my chest hurt. “If I may add my own two cents, I don’t understand how anybody could take you for granted.”

I perk up. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” He puts his arm along the backside of the couch. A small part of me wonders what it would feel like to have his arm around me instead. “You do so much around the farm that you deserve to be acknowledged for it. Not only that, but you have such a pleasant presence. I may be a reclusive guy, but I’m always happy when you’re around.” His words are like tiny sparks that enter my ears and jumpstart my heart like an AED. I haven’t felt this appreciated in a long time, and it almost brings tears to my eyes. 

“That… means a lot to hear you say, Sebastian.” I manage to speak without my voice cracking. “I haven’t been told something like that in a long time.” 

Before I know it, Sebastian has leaned forward and pulled me into an embrace. His hoodie is warm with his body heat, and in this moment, his scent is more comforting than my own bed. His touch feels so secure, like I would emerge unscathed from a tornado ripping through this bar right now so long as he was holding onto me. I return his embrace, letting myself sink into his body and feel him surround me. The weight on my heart lifts, and I quickly grow addicted to the feeling, so I don’t let go. I squeeze him tighter, pulling him closer to me. He does the same to me, and after what feels like an hour but was probably two minutes, we pull away just enough to look up at each other. Sebastian’s gaze studies my face, and after a few seconds, I can tell that he’s staring at my lips again. My body feels as though it’s been dipped in cold water, and without a second thought, I close the gap between us. Our lips touch in an outwardly chaste kiss, but the energy it feeds into me is anything but innocent. Traces of guilt started creeping into my mind, but as soon as Sebastian started to kiss me back, they were blown away like an eyelash on a fingertip. My body feels like it’s on live wire, and my hands move on their own, my right hand reaching up to hold his upper back closer so I can kiss him harder. His hands fall to my hips, and we start to full on make out. It was the most blissful interaction I’d had in months. 

Finally, Sebastian pulls away from me, and his gaze is different from before. What was once intoxication and concern has fallen away to a hunger I haven’t seen directed my way in longer than I care to admit… and I was directing it right back at him. 

“… Wanna get out of here?” I whisper.

“My place or yours?” He asks, planting a few kisses along my jaw and one on my neck. 

“Yours,” I say breathlessly once I regain my composure from the kisses. Being kissed on my neck is my greatest weakness. “Alex is definitely asleep in my bed.” The sentence should have sent a spike of guilt and self-loathing through my stomach, but it’s as if I’m wearing full armor made out of iridium. I feel a light prod of “That’s not the best thing I’ve said,” and that’s it. 

We stand from the couch and peer out at the main floor of the bar. While it’s not as packed as it used to be, there’s still too many familiar faces for my comfort. 

“We can’t walk out together,” I bite my lip in thought. “Too many prying eyes here.”

“I’ll walk out first,” Sebastian suggests. “Then you follow me after picking a song on the jukebox.”

“Won’t that look even more weird if I pick a song and immediately leave?” 

A low chuckle sets my lower body on fire. “This is why you’re the smarter of the two of us.”

I give him a playful push on the arm. “I’ll just follow you out after giving Gus the water back, okay?”

“Works for me.” Sebastian shrugs and heads out into the main room. I wait until I hear the main door shut, then I grab my mug of water and take it to the bar. After I’ve returned the mug and paid my tab, I leave the bar. It’s dark as evil itself outside, and I feel a flare of relief in my stomach. Nobody will be able to see us walking together very well in this poor light. Thank goodness for the new moon tonight. 

Sebastian is standing just off to the side, and as soon as we lock eyes, we dive back into a hot kiss, but I don’t let it go on for as long as the last one did. I pull away first, putting my lips to his ear.

“Patience is a virtue, y’know,” I whisper. “Wait until it’s the mattress beneath and me above you.” I lightly nip his ear for good measure, and pride rushes to my smile when I hear his small gasp. We join hands and rush off towards his house under the cover of night. Only the trees and crickets heard our lustful giggles as we ran on the fumes from the thrill of the chase and unlocked the door to his house. We snuck down to his room, and as soon as Sebastian locked the door, I grabbed him and started making out with him again. We fell deeply into our lust without any second guessing, and he soon walked me backwards to his bed without breaking our kiss. He gently laid me down on his bed and crawled on top of me, his lips seeking out my neck this time. 

“I… I thought I was going to be on top.” I breathlessly spoke between my stifled moans. 

His chuckle rumbles against my neck, making my body jump a little. Sebastian pulls away and stares down at me, the hunger in his eyes from before resonating much stronger now. “Got carried away… do you still want to?”

I think it over while lifting the ends of my shirt slightly to reveal a teasing peek at my torso. “Nah,” My smug reply comes out as a whisper. “I want to see what this aggressive Sebastian is capable of.”

My shirt being ripped off and more kisses on my neck were my only reply.

 

As soon as it’s over, I get up from the bed and stagger a bit. Before I do anything else, I reach for tissues from the tissue box on his bedside table. I dry the pale leak running down my leg, quietly thanking the powers that be for my sterilization surgery that I got before I even moved to Stardew Valley. Once I’m cleaned up, I begin dressing myself. 

“You,” Sebastian’s voice comes from behind me, and I look over my shoulder to his bare form on his bed. “… are incredible.” His smile makes my heart flutter and my cheeks blush, and I just smile at him. 

“You’re one to talk.” I tug my pants on over my underwear and do a little happy dance for him. He whistles, and we both laugh as I search for my shirt, which somehow ended up across the room. I don’t even bother with putting my bra back on – I’m going to crawl into bed as soon as I get back home anyways. 

“Do you really have to go back tonight?” He asks. 

“Yeah, I really do,” I say after pulling my shirt over my head. “I’ve got an entire farm depending on me in the morning.” 

“Right, right…” He says with disappointment tainting his response. “I really admire your work ethic, you know?”

I revel in his praise, smiling wider than I have in a long time. Once all my things are gathered, I walk over to his bed and give him another kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon alright?”

“At the lake?”

“I’ll have a void egg ready for you.” 

“You’re the best, babe.” 

“That’s my goal.” Another goodbye kiss, and I head out the door. After sneaking out of the house and through the dim night to my farm, I approach the front door. The lights aren’t on, making me breathe a sigh of relief. Alex definitely isn’t awake right now. I quietly open the door, holding my breath so that I don’t wake the door as I walk inside, and quietly click the door closed. My barely audible tiptoeing sounds like a nuclear storm to me, but I take solace in the fact that the dog hasn’t stirred. That’s got to mean I’m the quietest creature in the world, right? Maybe. 

Once I reach the bedroom, my eyes immediately find Alex’s sleeping figure on his side of the bed. His back is to me. Perfect. I remove my clothing and slip into bed beside him, and for the first time tonight, exhaustion finally takes hold of me. I close my eyes and feel the slight spins of my intoxication manifesting itself, but it doesn’t draw me out of my quickly incoming slumber. 

 

Pale morning rays shine through the window behind the bed. My eyes flutter open, taking in the familiar scene of my bedroom. I roll over to get out of bed, but the strange weakness in my legs catches me off guard. Why do my legs hurt?

Oh. Right.

My body feels a little heavy from the thought of sneaking around, but the memory of the night before pushes any apprehension to the side and out of sight. I don’t have room to feel upset – that was the best I’d felt and most I’ve ever been needed in a long time. Maybe I’ll feel bad about it later. I’ve got a farm to tend to right now.

I get up, shower, and continue on with my morning routine. I inspect myself in the mirror as I’m brushing my teeth after the shower. Thankfully, there’s no new marks on my body. Thank goodness Sebastian and I had enough sense to plan that aspect out. Once I’m done, I get dressed and head out into the main room of the house.

Like always, Alex is standing in the kitchen, but this time, he looks at me when I enter. 

“Hey,” Something about his tone is weird. “Come here for a sec.”

My body wants to tremble with nervousness, but to my pleasant surprise, my pace nor fine motor skills betray how I’m really feeling as I walk over to my husband. 

“What’s on your mind?” I ask with an even voice. 

Alex stares down into his coffee without saying anything at first. Every second that ticks by without him saying anything makes my heart beat faster. I’m convinced that he can see exactly where the teeth of another man grazed my skin, where his hands held me firmly yet affectionately, and how he looked at me the whole night. I feel like a walking finger-painting project under Alex’s gaze.

“I heard that you secretly gave Shane a gift last night.” His tone is jagged, but I don’t feel scratched by it. I’m too busy feeling relief flood through my body, washing the actions of last night away as I feel myself quietly release a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding this whole time. “Do I have to be suspicious of you?”

Somehow, I manage to laugh. Not loudly or out of guilt, but from the rush I feel – the floaty adrenaline from getting away with something. “All I did was give him a beer since I didn’t want it. If I was going to give it to anybody, he made the most sense, y’know?” I give him a genuine smile as I deliver my technical truth. 

“And you toasted with him?” Alex sounds so dejected over something innocuous, and he goes back to staring into the black abyss of his coffee. 

“Firstly, I’ve never had a meaningful interaction with Shane beyond giving him a gift last night.” I take a step closer to Alex, tilting his chin up so he can look me in the eye. My smile is gentle. “Secondly, I’m allowed to have friends that aren’t women.” I almost to tell him he didn’t have anything to worry about, but I bite my tongue. It’s best to keep serving technical truths. Keep it simple. “Thirdly, who’s the gossip that told you I was flirting with Shane?” My last question is marked by a carefree chuckle, but I’m practically on the edge of my proverbial seat to hear who was keeping an eye on me last night. 

“I heard it from Kent,” Alex admitted. “I haven’t seen you around Shane before, so I just…” He sighs. I contemplate his answer. I don’t remember seeing Kent last night, but since he didn’t mention anything else to Alex, then he must’ve left sometime before I did. At least he didn’t peek in at Sebastian and I in the pool room. 

“Alex…” I give him a kiss on the cheek. “Let me make this clear: Shane is the furthest thing from a threat that he can be. Last night we were both tipsy and I had given him his favorite thing. There was no deeper meaning behind it, I promise.” 

“That’s… good to hear.” Alex seems to relax, then he sets his coffee down. I’m just about to turn away to start my farm work when he suddenly grabs my hands. “Listen, I… I know I haven’t been the best husband lately. I can see the way your face falls when I don’t reach out. I’m so sorry for all of that, but… will you let me explain?”

I’m so taken aback by his sudden monologue that I don’t have words for him. All I do is nod for him to continue. 

He takes a deep breath, and his expression looks pained as he looks me in my eyes. “Grandma told me a while ago that Grandpa isn’t doing so well with his memory. He’s starting to forget the way back to the house if he’s by himself, and he’s started asking where…” His voice catches in his throat. “Where my mom is.” 

My heart sinks for him, recalling the time on the beach where Alex told me everything about his mother’s death and father’s abandonment of him. 

“I haven’t taken the news very well, as you can see… I’ve been trying to process the possibility that Grandpa could get worse, perhaps to the point where he won’t even recognize Grandma and me anymore.” Alex’s voice sounds heavy and burdened. His grip on my hands tightens. “I’ve been going over there to spend more and more time with them, and when I’m not there, I just kind of start wallowing in my own sadness about it. I’m… I’m really sorry for casting you aside in the process. I never meant to leave you to fend by yourself. That’s not what a marriage is…” He lets go of one of my hands and puts his newly free hand on the small of my back, drawing me closer. “That’s not what our marriage is.”

His words are both validating my pain and breaking my heart. Memories from last night’s tryst flash in my mind as he’s explaining himself. The entire time, I hadn’t even considered that he was going through something that affected his behavior so much… Dammit, what kind of wife am I? I already know, but I don’t let the answer drift to my mind. 

“Alex… I’m so sorry that I never asked you if you were alright…” Tears prick in my eyes. Alex holds me closer in an embrace and kisses the top of my head. 

“There’s blame for us both,” His words strike me harder than they should. “But let’s forgive each other and work on making it better together. What do you say?” 

“Yes,” I whisper, and guilty tears fall down my cheeks. “Let’s try.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Alex whispers to me.

Sebastian’s lustful eyes burn into my memory, making me tear up even faster as I bury my face into Alex’s varsity jacket. 

“I’m sorry, too,” I whisper. “So, so sorry…”

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I bear no ill will towards any characters depicted in this piece. I love them all! I just so happened to use Stardew Valley as an outlet for writing a genre (romance and infidelity) that I've never attempted before. This piece is only a genre practice of sorts, if that makes sense.


End file.
